Sunday, May 8, 2016

Met Gala 2016

hmmmmmm, cute. nothing outrageous but cute nonetheless. not hard for adriana though. i mean she is a victorias secret model for gods sake. 

decent start.

and here is our first in the "she doesn't even go here" category...seriously agyness. what do you even do anymore? i mean apart from wear hideous outfits, of course.

first of the Balmain babes. bored already. same old shit, different red carpet. OVAH. IT.

fab jumpsuit. seriously in love with it.

the woman inside tho? NEXT.

this is in my top 3. so gorj, young, fresh, and fun. and alicia is an absolute babe. she looks age appropriate without looking underdressed. and her hair and makeup was perfection. not overdone in the slightest, unlike some other starlets...Beyonce, we will talk later.

the Louis Vuitton army shat all over the Balmain one this time.

Gauntlet officially thrown.

BOMBSHELL. let her mangey dogs back in the country, this is FIRE. my hair only gets that much volume with the help of superglue, and anyone that can make flesh coloured satin/silk with an awkward waist height look this good must be rosie huntington-whitely level hot.

brava, amber.

i like this less every time i look at it so I'm going to move on before i decide i hate it all together. 

um. ok. amy. just no. lose the bag, change the shoes, get some jewellery, change the hair and makeup and stand up straight. then maybe we can talk.

alexander wang i expect more from you. 

don't know who you are but you look great. keep it up.

ooh a silver dress when the theme is Manus x original.

i love anna kendrick but this is SO not working for me. literally nothing about this appeals to me.

its better than last year anna, ill give you that.

ps love the fringe cape sleeves.

looking better than I've seen either of them look recently. they have become walking anti-smoking ads. gross and old looking. they're 2 years younger than me and look 15 years older. no joke.

BUT here they are back to the olsen twins i adore. moody and fashion and icons and amazing.

baby wintour looking BEEutiful(see what i did there) in Alexander McQueen. Good taste obviously runs in the family.

another top look for me, and 100% best dressed couple. bella is killing it in the modelling world at the moment and this look is drama, glamour, beauty and fashion all at the same time. the black on black on black is one of my favourite looks and these two pull it off impeccably.

also her bone structure...i die.

he's also too adorable the way he stares at her. bless.

sooooo...yeeeeah. digging the grey hair.


only queen bey could make a latex dress (that you can see sticking to her perfect backside) with weird colouring and odd pearls on it look this bomb.

back up becky, you aint shit.

and this is where she lost me. who the hell did her makeup?

my guess is a friend of becky.

this is bad. so bad. i don't care if it was intentional or not. it looks like a drunk 5 year old did it, and i am not ok with it.

basically, i hate it. 

also her sweaty arms under that latex. mmmm-no.


and isn't she pregnant again?!

ugh seriously. I'm done.! this lip colour was obviously the choice of the night, which I'm totally down with, i love a dramatic lip.

i also love this dress.

but not on you. i feel like if she just invested in a good bra her whole look would change for the better.

ok so i saw this in a video and the dress in movement from the back is spectacular. photography doesn't do it justice, and it looks a little overwhelming in this photo, and she looks a bit unsure of it all.

positive note: her hair and makeup are nice.

i think I'm yet to see Chloe in something that makes me go "YASSSS CHLOE". nothing is terrible but nothing is spectacular.
never overwhelmed, never underwhelmed.
just whelmed.

i have no idea what happened here but I'm going to put it down to an off night.

everyone has one right?

those boots need to be burnt asap though. VOM.

for some reason so many people where talking about this.

i don't get it. she's hot but i hate the dress and her hair looks so weird i can't get past it. not a fan.

DYYYYYYYYING. this was everything on the night. it perfectly captured the theme, was beautifully made and when it lit up it was like real life cinderella. UGH.

and i HATE claire danes so I'm as surprised as you that i love this so much.

seriously i couldn't even watch homeland cos of her.

she is SO annoying.

i heart common.

even in this brown suit.

lol i don't even know where to start.

-overly tanned
-dress is gross
-looks uncomfortable
-why are you there

oh look at that, i did know where to start.

so many greens. he's got a good face so i can ALMOST excuse the lapel...

Diplo...shiny baby poo

DVF...whoa haha calm down on the hair accessories please. or remove ONE of the patterns you have on.

you look legit crazy.


there is something about this that i really want to love...

the purple kind of ruins it for me, but it does look nice with her hair. she does look sad though.

cheer up emma, you're beautiful and successful. like can't be that bad.

poor mans margot robbie.

literally the most awkward couple IN THE WORLD. 

has he drugged her? she looks roofied.

the theme was manus x machina guys...

not moon-manus x machina.

sometimes she's just too weird.


she looks hot. as always.

he looks hot. as always.

his arm looks weird. which is new.

i feel like she made this the day before while high on crack.

she had a cracking crafternoon.


BABE. seriously for the least relevant of that whole supermodel crew she certainly scrubbed up well.

they all look like rumer willis.

which nobody wants.

not even rumer willis.

what even is this.

seriously are they just inviting anyone these days?

mhmmmmmm. yes. 

you go idris. wear that tux with tails like you own it.

heidi klum called, she wants her shitty dress back.

the fact that you are stunning doesn't deter me from that fact that your dad is a top notch asshole and could soon ruin humanity as we know it.

go home, or distance yourself from that complete and utter dickhead before you return.


he looks like he's playing simon says and the instruction was "simon says stand weirdly and look uncomfortable"

he's winning that game.

HOT DAMN. now thats an outfit. love the colour love the hair love the boots love it all.

this is very VB when she had her pixie crop and david wore a white suit with a diamond cross necklace. and had the same haircut as Victoria.

i kind of love it.

this dress doesn't really do anything for me. her in this dress tho? LOVE. and her hair and makeup?! 

HAVE MERCY. perfection.  


on the right person and with a better fit this could've been a BILLION times better. from the back it looked like she was wearing an adult diaper.

also her hair is giving me anxiety.

i wish i hated this, cos i can't stand Karlie, her pointy judgemental face really irks me. also her long legs and perfect body don't make me feel a great warmth towards her. 

but the dress is babin and the fact she cut it for the after party just wins the outfit changes for me. hair and makeup is a bit severe but with a bod like that i can see past it.

i loved the fact that this reacted to her twitter followers comments. so clever.

its a bit wedding-y for me, but she looks gorj and the dress fit the theme so no real complaints here.


always and forever.

i actually love this. its a perfect mix of architecture and romance. 

even gaga is giving shades of jealousy in the background.

we will get to you gaga. trust me.

samara from the ring looks great here.


face? gross.

sorry but that makeup is revolting and the hair!? jesus. 

also like could you not have had a good nights sleep, gotten a facial and moisturised?

you look rough love, and this is the fucking Met.

kendall could wear a potato sack and look great, lets be honest. her body is out of control. but the dress is meh and her hair and makeup do nothing for me either.

middle of the road styling wise. when you have this canvas its hard to stuff it up too much.

this, however, has been completely stuffed up. she looks like a teenager in the 90s on halloween trying to look like one of the girls from the craft.

so bad.

obsessed with kanyes contacts, and outfit. that jacket was yummy.
and not many people could get my approval with denim on the Met red carpet.

she looks weird and intense tho.

the girls all seriously need to get over Olivier Rousteing. 


loving her short hair.

again tho, GET OVER BALMAIN. oh and while I've got you ky, can you stop with the singing snaps? super annoying.

i can't. she's turning into madonna.

her makeup is actually gorj. that lip colour is on my wish list.

but can someone please tone girlfriends hair? that yellow tinge is making me suuuuper uncomfortable.

i LOOOOOVE this. vampy and sassy and gorgeous. she looks like she has juicy gossip about someone and i desperately want to hear it.

ok whats with the line on your face.

also eat a burger love.

no 16 year old should have a face like this.

however maybe use it to smile sweetheart, you're always looking super sour.

try eating something and see how that makes you feel.

cher? is that you?

oh my god i can't with this pose lol

grow up lorde, you're not a 16 year old newbie anymore. oh and also get a new stylist.

i really wish me and my brother were this cool.

this is reminiscent of the jetsons. i don't love.

i didn't want to make her pictures too big in case it damaged your eyesight.

she's vile and gross and needs to stop flashing her ass/boobs that nobody wants to see.

also she has like a full hand size space between her boobs. ew.

not her best. which is a shame cos i love her. i mean she doesn't look bad, just a bit bland.

theres always next time babe. we believe in you.

did michelle williams send her child in her place? no adult is this size. with such a ridiculous hair cut.

i usually hate miranda, but I'm seriously loving this. the more i look at it the more i can't stop looking at it. her face is still a bit annoying but the look is flawless.

nicki looks like she just caught a glimpse of her own reflection.

we all agree babe.

makeup is a bit harsh but I'm digging the dress. the collar is great on her and she has amazing shoulders and collarbones.

WINNER. my best dressed of the night. she is so fucking gorgeous she makes her supermodel sister look lame. literally everything about this is perfection to me. the dress is on a whole new level, the hair is what i wish mine could be if i could have long hair, and her makeup is a dream. ugh i can't get enough.

well done Poppy, you divine creature you.

i think her plane flew into a goose and she decided to wear it as a dress.

this is nice, i just wish the sheer part didn't start right at her undies line. or that the difference between sheer and covered wasn't so pronounced. something just isn't 100% here, but its not so terrible that I'm going to get my claws out.

dark dramatic lips again too...i see a trend here.

I'm getting really bored of seeing rita try to win the red carpet, and failing.

ok so this is embarrassing to admit but i had no idea these two were a couple.


jerry seinfeld called and wants his pirate shirt back.

also stop wearing blue point shoes, that movie was years ago, and it wasn't even that amazing.

hair and makeup is good though. and whats the met without SJP wearing something slightly ridic.

even though this feels a little cazhwahl* for the met I'm still liking it. she's definitely coming into her own these days and i think she's stunning so I'm interested to see whats in the future for her. also, these Louis Vuitton boots are going to be everywhere this year.


something isn't sitting right here but i can't stay mad at sienna for too long. she's a red carpet goddess.

loving the head to toe D&G. this is luxe and regal and textural and couture.

top 10 for me i think. i love a bit of drama.


do we understand the elevator fight now? do we believe he cheated on her?

i think its all a bit staged and some very clever marketing. i call bullshit.

jenny humphrey. bad. so bad.

i do love this lipstick on her, and she has great shape to her lips. 

however i HATE HATE HATE her hair like this. the colour, the cut, everything. she's losing me as a fan extremely fast.

scuse my french but what the FUCK are you doing here?!

go home child. 

i don't even know whats happening here. everyone seems to have taken the theme to mean robots.

its not that hard people.

(not hating on the suit tho which actually kind of love)

i take back my earlier statement...

i wish my brother and i were THIS cool.

they're bonkers and i love them. plus i mean look at them. they're stunning.

super stylin. i expect nothing less from wiz these days.

ZENDAYAAAAAA this dress is hot hot chilli fire.

that hair is not my fave. if anyone can pull it off i know you can with that face and body that shouldn't even be real.

and she looks incredible, even with the lego hair. maybe even because of it. top 5.

i looooove this. its like a couture costume and i want it. the shoes, the mask, THE BOW. 

like a dark fairy of fashion.
ugh zoe you can do no wrong so just keep doing you girlfriend cos you are KILLING. IT.


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