Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Oscars 2016

first on the red carpet...first on my "like" list. not only is the colour super fresh, and the heels are now on my covet list, but she also looks like Belle from Beauty & the Beast. and you can't go wrong looking like a Disney princess. solid start to the night. 

i really can't make up my mind about this. I've seen her on numerous worst dressed lists which i have to say i think is way harsh ty. i think the way she's standing does her no favours but i really think the dress is beautiful. maybe her hair is wrong? maybe the dress is too long? maybe the dress is just wrong on her? welcome to my brain for the past 24 hours.

um...ease up on the eyeliner love. and the hairspray. and that colour is no good on you. and what exactly are you holding in that tiny purse? surely nothing of use? so why have it? WHY?

she may have won the oscar but she is FAR from winning any style awards here. again i have to disagree with multiple best dressed lists (seriously?! THIS is what counts as best dressed these days?! sigh) I've seen her on but i think this is hideous. it looks like a cheap year 11 formal dress from ferrari formal hire in the basement of myer...and I'm talking like rural myer, not CBD myer. the hair looks like a year 6 end of year social where the boys and girls sit on opposite sides of the room and giggle when they make eye contact. not to mention her boobs look like the throat singing lady from the simpsons movie in this neckline...HUGE. to her credit, her after party dress was SO much better*

*stay tuned for my round up of the after party dresses in my next post...coming soon!

i actually love this more and more every time i see it. at first i think i was disappointed as i expected something i bit more...structural and almost aggressive from her, and this felt too soft. HOWEVER, when you look at the detail this dress is so gorgeous and the colour is divine. i added the second photo in because i think her hair and makeup is also just so beautiful, it really compliments what is honestly a pretty full on dress. no one but Cate could pull this off, and I'm glad no one really tried. she has cornered the more "fashion" side of the red carpet for years and i applaud her for never wavering on her sartorial choices. 

i say this in every critique about someone...but


same old shit different red carpet.

CANNOT get enough of Chrissy in this amazing Marchesa. no one should look this good in a semi-nude-sheer-beaded dress being as pregnant as she is. if i had to pick a fault, her makeup isn't amazing, i could've done with a bolder lip maybe, but I can deal with what shes got because of that dress. Heaven.

ps her after party look was just as dazzling. stay tuned.

my friend Nathan and i went over this dress a few times together and came to the concusion that if you take away that weird stomach ruffle/sheer panel at the bottom and put on better shoes this would be infinitely better. the beading and colour of the dress is gorj, but that ruffle and sheer panel down the bottom detract from an otherwise beautiful look. almost there love, next time get C3PO to give you a hand in the fashion department...i think he's got a flair for that sort of thing

LOVE. love love love. this is definitely in my top 2. the top of this dress is so major i just keep staring. the proportion of the skirt might be slightly off, and if I'm honest i would prefer it to be straight down skirt that continues the intricate detailing of the top half but i actually don't care. finally some drama on the red carpet!! brava, blonde model who's name i don't know, brava.

um...you were in the devil wears prada. i expect more.

i don't know who this is and i don't particularly like or dislike his suit but he's kind of cute so i thought id add him in. 


i said it to you at the globes but i guess the lack of food affects your hearing so ill say it again. love, if your head is wider than your body, your back bones show through the back of your shoulder and your arm muscle has separated from the rest of your arm, YOU ARE TOO SKINNY.

she legit turns on the side and disappears.
gross. im all for healthy, strong and in shape, but this appears unhealthy and too skinny for me. just sayin.

oh dear lord she keeps doing these dresses and she gets canned every single time. she's properly lost the plot since her split with seal. this dress and the look on her face screams "i smoke too much pot in a field with my friend the unicorn".

but again the after party outfit was way better. so who knows.

so pretty isla. nothing to scream and shout about but at least it wasn't boring OR ugly. and that neckline is pretty. solid B+.

ok so maybe the person heidi is smoking in a field with is jared leto.

ugh just go away. never liked you, never will.

the dress is nice but i can't get past her. sorry.

i don't even have words for this.

oh wait yes i do...
SO BAD. it reminds me of that McQueen dress gwyneth wore to the oscars in 2002 with no bra...that got canned and this should have too. there is nothing good here.

ok if I can wear this at 55 and look like this...ill be VERY happy. what a babe.

did woolies have a special on bin bags? 

it appears kelly ripa has taken the entire allocation of fake tan for this years awards.

ohhhhh kerry washington.

ohhhhh no.




love gaga in this!! different and unique and she looks confident amazing. that fiancé of hers is one lucky man to be on her arm. top 5 for me.

oh sweetheart that is not a good neckline on your broad manly shoulders.

also...insiders trick : nipple pasties.


i don't particularly care about the suit he just deserved to be in cos he won and i love him.

and here we have lily cole modelling the latest in drug overdose silver blanket couture, fresh from the festival season of summer 2016.

nice shoes tho.

1: don't spread your legs like that in a dress this tight.
2: did your boob defect from your body and decide to hang out with your arm?
3: the hip flaps...no.


seriously...so beautiful! look at that glow in the close up of her face...australia represent. so many try to do the gold oscar thing, and this is one of the first times I've really seen someone pull it off and not look like a complete knob. everything about this is perfect for me. everyone else take note.

she looks like a contestant on my kitchen rules.

home kitchen cook rounds.

hey mindy...just wondering...when did you become the first lady?

i don't even have the energy for this mess.

this is up there for me. we have seen her in similar dresses before but i think if it works and it isn't boring, then why change. it fits perfectly, the colour is beautiful and her makeup compliments the look. could do with a differently necklace but I'm not too offended by what she's got.

i am so in love with this colour! olivia looks stunning in this dress. maybe a little underdone for the oscars and could've done with a big gold cuff with some statement earrings but she's on the right track. this may have been a a better after party look?

hair? check. makeup? check. back of the dress? check.

front of the dress? jury is still out.

pancake boobs? not a fan but breastfeeding can do that so ill let her off this time.

why is she there? she's on CSI : Cyber for gods sake.

always got love for Pharrell. simple and stylin.

gorgeous!!! reminds me of beyonce at the grammys in 2014, and i aint mad about it. she looks relaxed, happy and glamourous. top 5 for me.

if she had just steamed this after she got out of the car i wouldn't have such issues here. gorj colour, the side boob was supreme, the train is heaven...but those bloody creases.

hamburglars friend Grimace.

ugh she's so gorj i can't even handle her face. she is another one that always wears the same look, but her looks are always so beautiful and well put together i can't complain about it.

sam smith looks like he just got a preview of all the stupid things he was going to say over the night.

pretty. love the colour. hair is a bit meh but she's definitely not at the bottom of the pack with this.

i feel like oprah would wear this in the plus size version to a presidential fund raiser.

HOT REDHEAD ALERT. her face and hair as a package is so striking, i don't even care about the bland outfit.

grimaces identical twin...gromace.

hot couple. hot hot hot.

i could do without the wanky sunglasses though.


is she giving a bunch of people shelter under that tent? absolutely in the pack of the worst haha

maybe being a comedian she wore this to make people laugh? i mean, those octopus bracelets cannot be for serious can they?

one for time for good measure...


also the fact people mistook her for Oprah...so much lol. poor oprah.

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious as ever. Please post on the after party asap!