Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Golden Globes 2017

this dress is beautiful...

the praying mantis wearing it? not so much.

this graced pretty much every best dressed list there was.

i mean i like it, its not offensive...but to me, best dressed it ain't. i've seen her in better and more exciting.

gives her a knockout hourglass figure tho. and i mean her's everything.

again, this girl could literally smear herself in dog poo and it would look incredible, but i CANNOT STAND draped satin over big boobs that are flapping around in the wind. its not flattering, and looks uncomfortable & hard to manage.

meanwhile people everywhere are probably already fantasising about whats between you legs honey, you don't need to point to it with silver sparkles.

face is epic though. and the pale yellow was a favourite choice this year.

ooooh this was divisive wasn't it...

personally i LOVE the colour on her and think the top 2/3rds of this Zuhair Murad masterpiece are impeccable (that neckline shows others how to do a naked dress properly). but the lower part that balloons out is super irritating and distracting. this gown has enough going on without needing that.

hair and makeup are perfection though. the red lip is GIVING. ME. LIFE.

the dress itself i am a fan of...kind of if Calvin Klein and Vivienne Westwood had a baby.

but this woman in it? GOD NO. her hair and makeup are terrible and the weird one earring thing is not ok with me. you're at the golden globes sweetheart, not the EMAs.

DAMN GINA now thats a MILF.

it's doing slightly weird things to the spacing of her boobs but i can forgive that. she's gorj.


ohhhhh good lord where to start.

just because you're a bigger girl, that does not meant you have to wear hideous clothes. this is SO unflattering on her. the shoulders legit make her look like a rectangle with a head put on top.

i've seen photos of her at other events and she is a beautiful woman and a very talented actress, this was just a BAD BAD BAD choice for her.

ok so i love this woman, she's hilarious.

this outfit seems ok at first glance. like, cool she's wearing a suit. and her shoes are pretty. and her face and hair look nice.

but then you see those pants...the realise that the fit on them is depressing. and the jacket is kind of oddly proportioned. and that literally everything is navy. 

i love this dress on her. it hugs her figure like its poured onto her, and her arms are insane.

the hair is not so great, and that ear cuff needs to go.


ok so not only does this look like a cheap prom dress (hair and makeup look great tho), but E online posted it as one of their worst dressed.

which is funny.

cos she's a presenter.

on E.



meanwhile old mate in the background is totally giving everyone bedroom eyes.

technically theres nothing wrong with this dress..

i just cant find anything super right about it either. it doesn't really fit her properly and her hair and makeup leave a lot to be desired.

please just stop showing up to awards shows now.

i can now clearly see that it was your fashion sense that killed Macaulay Culkin in my girl. the bees were just a cover.

at first glance i love this...then i notice how uncomfortable her boobs look, which kind of puts me off. her necklace in unnecessary too.

the colour is amazing on her skin tone though and i'm loving the dark lip.

this comes off second best in the suit category for me. i like the top half, but the pants are the wrong length for her and her makeup is underdone.

she was the standout in 'bad moms' for me though so i forgive her.

i so want to love this.... just something isn't quite right. its skims her body in the most perfect way, the neckline is to die for.

maybe the jewellery isn't right? maybe her hair and makeup aren't right? whatever it gets a B- from me.

this looks like the designers drawing of the dress before it got made. its so bad on so many levels i cant even look at it.

i'm ashamed we share a name.

elegant and beautiful. i don't quite know why she's here but i'm glad she came.

if theres something i would pick at it would probably be that the top is slightly ill fitting and the underlay fabric is maybe the wrong colour...but the fit issue could just be the way she's standing. i forgive.

ok she looks drunk here.

and i think its the wrong colour on her. i like the idea but something hasn't worked.
i love this colour, and the dress is very Jackie O. its perfect for pregnancy...however her hair and makeup are just awful. they ruin what could have been a stellar moment for her.

i feel like only Michelle could wear this and not look like a complete idiot. the dress is stunning, and even though i HATE this choker thing thats happening right now, this works for me. she's like a cute little fashion pixie wearing designer clothes.

this looks like she made it at home on someone who has completely different proportions to herself. its foul.

whats with the prom theme so many people are following? it's not ok with me.

oh Nicole. how can you make McQueen look this bad.

if you keep dressing like this Australia will disown you, just like we did to Mel Gibson and Russell Crowe.

this colour is to die for on her, and her hair and makeup are stunning.

however the strap placement looks awkward to me and the flowers are gross.

LOVE. hair is a bit lacklustre but everything else i'm so down with.

the more i look at this the more i think i like it. i love the idea of an off the shoulder long sleeve, and the necklace draped across her shoulders is so glam. the make up is ageing her a bit but apart from that i think she looks great.

also the colour of the sequins on the bottom is serving me Pat McGrath Metalmorphosis copper realness.

oh my god leave this in the 80s where it belongs.

i love the top half of this on Jess. her body in out of control.

the skirt i'm not loving. i think if they'd lost the weird flowers and just made it all black with an amazing gold metal belt this would've been on a whooooole new level.

this makes me feel like i've had 6 too many vinos and i've got the dreaded double vision that makes you close one eye when you're trying to text.

she's got a hot face tho.

she looks like a 5 year old with attitude who picked her own horrific outfit and is demanding everyone tell her how amazing she is.

not cute.
her hair style makes her face look awkwardly long.

the dress doesn't even warrant a comment. blah.

i LOOOOOOVE this!! she is 100% in my top 3 best dressed. she looks glam and sexy, and her makeup is perfection. A+.

when even the woman wearing the dress looks like she's regretting her choice you know its going to top the worst dress lists.

this is SO SO AWFUL. nothing about this is redeeming. her hair looks ridiculous, her makeup is so heavy she looks like she's still partying from the night before, and her dress...while the fabric is STUPID.

i just don't get this.

i'm not even angry. i'm just disappointed.

i love this woman so it hurts me to say...but this is not great.

her boobs look like their from different people in this dress, and the colour is not her greatest friend. hair and makeup are better...but nothing to scream about.

hair and makeup...gorj. boring and overdone. we've seen this look so many times, i'm so bored of it.

not offensive but so blah.


this dress is ill fitting and the fabric looks cheap.

fade into obscurity again please.

i'm so angry at her for making this dress look this bad.

it's so overwhelming on her she looks like a kid in dress ups. and she looks so uncomfortable and unsure how to stand. DENIED.

she looks like the real life version of the salsa emjoi.

and not in a good way.

faaaaaarking hell goldie. 10/10.


when you dress up as Shannen Doherty in charmed for halloween and never change back.

i'm so confused by this. theres something about it that is so pretty, but when i look at it properly, i hate it. i think maybe the colour is really nice on her hair/skin tone? or maybe i like her makeup?

whatever it is, the actual dress is vile. the weird boob panels hurt my soul and the sleeves look like SJPs mess of a dress. dismissed.

CHRISSY YASSSSSS this shape is heaven on you.

this fabric is so gorgeous, and her hair/makeup/bag are so perfect for this its almost arousing.


i mean...

if i had her body id be naked. but each to their own.

i actually LOVED this. i think maybe she needed something else on the dress like a glam belt or maybe even a bright lipstick, but i think she looks very elegant and pretty. its the right amount of naked on a naked dress.

great look for her from the waist up. the bottom is a bit juvenile, but i am so digging the Narcissa Malfoy grey streaks in her hair.

LOVE. i wish she'd worn a bright red lip but her attitude is everything and she looks sexy as hell.

this dress is worthy of a phone to the face.

even though the dress looks like a cushion from Ishka in the 90s, she looks bomb in it. extra marks for the hair and makeup, and her unbelievably smooth/soft/luscious skin.
pretty. but i'm bored. with her hair colour and skin tone she can really wow me sometimes with bold jewel tones but this just feels a little bland and safe.

wrong place for this dress.

ok so i love leopard print so natch i love this dress, even though its so over the top i feel like it would be perfection on a boat with Mariah Carey in Monaco and a champagne in hand.

but its not right for the globes.


standard beauty from reese. i love her and she's completely gorgeous i just feel like i've seen this on her a billion times already.

i actually love this so much. the dress is stunning yet simple, and her happiness and confidence just exudes beauty. i don't know who she is but i hope i see more of her in the future.

quirky and faaaabaulous. this dress is so beautiful, and her makeup complements it perfectly. she looks like the definition of fashionable elegance to me.

i do not for the life of me understand the pearls. everything else i love but i just don't get the jewellery. it ruins an otherwise fab look for her.

i mean....let's be honest. she's another one who could wear bodily waste and look

but this i feel is maybe a little bit of overkill. her arms are so toned and tanned that i could've done without the sleeves. also we know you have massive cans we don't need the cleavage every. single. time.

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER. Olivia is BEYOND in this. the dress is divine, her makeup is flawless and her hair is heaven. best dressed i've seen on a red carpet in a LONG, LONG time.

my number one from the night.

and to nobodies surprise it's a Zuhair Murad. LOVE.


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